#8- The Lovely Bones, Alice Sebold

I’ll start out by saying this:

The Lovely Bones is a good book.

The Lovely Bones is the story of a family in turmoil after the death of their daughter and sibling. Susie Salmon is able to watch them from her ‘Heaven’, as they struggle to capture her murderer and put the past behind them.

This was sent to me by a Miss Claire Askew a month or two ago, and I was very happy to receive it. I read the first two chapters and then lost interest. This book is filled with things I don’t believe in, like Heaven and ghosts and souls and the supernatural.

I decided to pick it up again and finish it, and I didn’t put it down. It was finished within the next two days.

It is a good book.

It isn’t my favorite book, there are plenty of things I didn’t like about it, but it was worth the read and now I can let myself see the movie.

The main characters were great. They were real, with emotions and justifiable actions, with motives that made sense and emotions that didn’t. Mr. Salmon is the caring father that can’t move on, Mrs. Salmon is the mother who wants to move on but can’t rid herself of the guilt that she will feel if she does; their daughter, Lindsey, is a strong-willed girl who doesn’t want to be reminded, and Buckley is too young to remember but is still ‘haunted’ by Susie.

BUT.

Don’t forget about the list of “Things That Ruined This Book For Me.”

Ruth. She is a woman who was once ‘touched’ by Susie on here way to the afterlife, and is thereafter obsessed with Susie and her death. There was also a ridiculous chapter dedicated to Ruth and Susie switching places for a number of hours so that Susie could have sex with (oh, I’m sorry, make ‘love’ to) her one time ‘boyfriend’, Ray.

And in the end, Susie’s murderer isn’t even caught, he’s impaled with an icicle? Yes.

Overall this book was good, but nothing more. I didn’t understand why the author felt the need to give it a “happy” ending, filled with laughter, marriage proposals and pregnancy. It should have ended with Mr. Harvey (her murderer and rapist) being shot in the head. But maybe that’s just me.

"May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect. Deliver me, Tyler, from being perfect and complete."

#7- She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb.

She’s Come Undone is a coming of age story centered around a character named Dolores. The only thing I did not like about this book was Dolores. 

I don’t think I’ve ever read a more truthful book. Although Dolores was a victim throughout her entire life, even those of us who haven’t experienced the same course of events can still somehow relate— Wally Lamb manages to push the envelope and include those small, everyday secrets and tiny events which make us all human; masturbation, stress-eating and eavesdropping. It is well written and clear-cut, yet filled to the brim with detail. Wally Lamb has a fantastic way of leaving only the raw facts and not getting in the way. 

As I mentioned though, I disliked the main character. She is weak and self-pitying, constantly falling into cycles of depression. She was, however, very realistic. I didn’t empathize with her, I only wanted to tell her to stop being disrespectful to herself and those around her. I hated the way she treated those who she apparently ‘loved’, especially as a teenager, but then I had to remind myself that this is how teenagers are. It’s not as though you are reading a book, filled with an imagined character. You are following a real, actual person. You watch her grow and be crushed, again and again. 

I loved and hated this book, all at once. 

If you can handle a depressing story of an overweight woman who is weak and flawed, a victim of rape, a witness to numerous family deaths, a stalker and pushover, a woman who aborted her child against her will, a married and divorced woman. If you can handle all of that, I recommend it. 

"All kings is mostly rapscallions."

#6- You Old Soak, Chris Lindores

If you’re the type who likes rainbows, rhyme, God and small, adorable puppies in your poetry, I apologize, because Mr. Lindores is about to decimate and spit on your notions of a poem. 

You Old Soak is cheeky. 

You Old Soak is witty.

You Old Soak is cute, if by ‘cute’ you actually mean ‘very lonely’.

Lindores observes the world with a hint of irony. In a pub, a bathroom, or a train station, his views are unsettling and unforgiving as in Once More With Feeling:

“Physical contact / is not really my bag. / Even warm toilet seats / are too much.”

The first section (also called Once More With Feeling) is a small selection of tiny poems with more attitude than a 5’ft. tall Italian man with a Napoleon complex. As the first section lures you in and let’s you catch you breath, the second prepares to grope you with bare fists. 

The second section (It’s well dodgy round here.) delves deeper into the humble beginnings Mr. Lindores has created. In Not If You Were The Last Camel On Earth, he mingles Dr. Seus with surreal adjective-phrases to create a fascinating piece. By the time I got to How does a bookies have a sale anyway? I was hooked. 

“Yous two- / push that box out the Cowgate / and up that street; / that one that goes past Greyfriars Bobby.” 

Pot of Gold is a wholly inspiring tale of someone hot on the trail of a rainbow, although not in the sweet way we would imagine:

“Get in the truck / -let’s run the fucker down. / Smash it into tiny pieces. / Shards of watermelon and / blue raspberry will litter the / sky when we’re done with it.” 

You Old Soak reeks of day-old vomit, blood stains and tipped pint glasses. I mean this in the best possible way. It is fantastic and a great collection full of nights, moments and strange incidents we can all relate to. Chris Lindores is uncensored and glorious. 

link: http://non-the-road.deviantart.com/, http://www.readthismagazine.co.uk/onenightstanzas/?p=661

"There’s a lot of ugly things in this world, son. I wish I could keep ‘em all away from you. That’s never possible."

#5- Love In The Time of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez

So far, all of my reviews have been pretty good.

And by ‘good’ I mean, I haven’t posted anything saying ‘this book is shit’. 

Well…there’s always a first.

Now, I hate doing this. No, I really do…

For those of you who don’t know, I live in a small town. A very, very small town and there is no Barnes&Noble or Borders. So when I want to buy a new books, my options are limited. Well, I went to our local bookstore, in search of something new and exciting and found ‘Love In The Time of Cholera’.

It seemed to check out. It was critically acclaimed, made into a movie, and has been translated into a ridiculous number of languages. Plus, apparently the main character was a heartbroken sex-addict, with over 600 partners. Sounds good. 

Love In The Time of Cholera is about a young boy(Florentino) and girl(Fermina) who fall in love. Eventually the girl is forced to marry a much older man who is a doctor, and the couple are separated. 

Now, I’m not a romantic. Shame on me, but it’s always the same thing over and over again for me. Girl meets boy, mistakes are made, they make up yadda yadda. Well, Love In The Time of Cholera had me until this point.

Fermina is still in love with Florentino and eventually she ends up running into him again, though, and thinks to herself ‘Wow, what was I thinking? All of those hormones must have really been playing a trick on me!’ And marries the doctor, forgets about Florentino, until they are old and her husband is dead.

Florentino, though, is still madly in love with her and decides he will someday be with her. UNTIL THEN, though, he has love affairs with over 600 women and (very) young girls in order to sate his…love? desire? passion? erection? I’m not really sure. 

This is where I began to really, really dislike this book. Call me crazy, but I just didn’t find his characters to be realistic. Fermina ‘fell out of love at first sight’, which I believe is just as unrealistic as falling IN love at first sight. Second of all, no one in their right mind lives their life in ‘waiting’ (although I don’t really consider it ‘waiting’ when you’re involved in hundreds of casual affairs, and you’re definitely not a ‘virgin’, as he believed he was, deep down). 

If this book is supposed to be about love (apparently all types of love?), I’m very disappointed. I can’t say I’m an expert on love, and certainly not in regards to romance, but this was immature and unbelievable. The main characters are impossible to relate to, let alone like; Fermina is a snobbish-bitch and Florentino is a perverted sex-addict without remorse and a ridiculous sense of morality. I’ve read reviews complaining that the book moves slowly but the pace is the only thing I can’t complain about. 

I’m sorry, Mr. Márquez, but I just didn’t like it. 

#4- Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand

Atlas Shrugged. 1000+ pages. Essentially an outline of the principles of objectivism. 

Who in their right mind would read this? ME. It wasn’t my choice though. It was for a scholarship contest. I read this enormous book and wrote an essay in approx. a month. Maybe it was more, I don’t remember. I just remember I didn’t win. They did send me a consolation prize though, a choice of one of her other book or essays. And objectivist propaganda…

Anyway. 

Ayn Rand, for those of you who don’t know, is the founder of a philosophy called objectivism. Her philosophy is not concerned with union with God, spiritual satisfaction or determining whether we exist or not, instead she focuses on morality, the preservation of self and true virtue. 

“The standard of value of the Objectivist ethics- the standards by which one judges what is good or evil- the the man’s life of: that which is required for man’s survival qua man.

Since reason is man’s basic means of survival, that which is proper to life of a rational being is the good; that which negates, opposes or destroys it is evil.” 

If you would like to learn about objectivism, but do not have time to/wish to read 1338pages, I suggest The Virtue Of Selfishness.

On to Altas Shrugged!

Dagny Taggart is the head of a railroad. She is a determined, smart and powerful woman with unconventional idea’s. Henry Rearden owns a metal company and eventually designs ‘Rearden Metal’ a lightweight-metal which is said to be stronger and cheaper then any other previously manufactured. Taggart invests in it despite a long string of protests…and slowly the story unfolds. 

Atlas Shrugged eventually becomes a complicated plot which highlights the main ideals of objectivism. At the center of it all is the mysterious John Galt- objectivism in human form. Every page brings about answers and new questions, and overall I think it is incredibly enthralling and realistic.

Rand’s characters are well developed and are human, with flaws, bad breath and toenails just like the rest of us. The only way she separates the good and evil is by their perception of morality, which is refreshing, I hate knowing who is good(‘She had long, gorgeous hair which smelled of chestnuts and baby-essence’) or evil(‘He was ugly. He had a stank-face and a smelly funk.’) before they’ve even spoken.

The only thing I didn’t like was the ending. I kind of hated the ending, actually. Only because it was so cliché, but that doesn’t change my opinion of this book. 

Is it worth reading? I think so, definitely. It is hefty, but I don’t think it would be complete if it weren’t. She intertwines so many different lives and presents it in a manner which is concise(don’t look at me that way, I know what you’re thinking…concise? Really? YES, REALLY.) and easy to follow. This is really quite unlike anything I’ve read before, and well worth the time. It’s a book I will remember for a very long time, and (I can’t believe I’m going to say this) will change your life. 

Now shoot me.

And then read Atlas Shrugged.